Agnus Dei

by Big Red Marbles

Agnus Dei cover art
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1.
03:14
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2.
03:27
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3.
03:56
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4.
02:05
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5.
04:56
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6.
05:38
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7.
05:04
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8.
04:18
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9.
01:14
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10.
04:16
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11.
06:00
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credits

released 12 April 2011
All songs written and performed by Andrew Boze.
Additional vocals on tracks 2 and 8 performed by Kia Duran.
Artwork by Adam Douglas.

tags

tags: folk rock Austin

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Track Name: Agnus Dei
God?
That is to say, can I call you God?
I've done some things you would not applaud
I've done some things, kill me

Father Time?
What's it like to father time?
So many things leave me with a bothered mind
So many things kill me

Mother Earth?
Are you my real mother, Earth?
Can I credit you with my birth?
From the dirt and the rocks and the sand
And the sky that serves as a blue ceiling?

Agnus Dei?
Oh, sweet, merciful Agnus Dei
Your sacrifice was of the saddest kind
Mine aspires to be as thine, kill me
Track Name: Poison in the Worm
I just came from the church
I listened to two grown men converse
They were there to teach a lesson
But taught each other a lesson first
There at the church
One man said to the other
"My whole life's been torn asunder"
And with a reassuring smile, he heard
"Man, I've been there brother"
Come from the other
And he said "The thing you've got to know
Is that not just one man can float
But rather a group of other people
Can hold him above the moat
So he can float"
And then said the other man
"Thank you, sir, I understand
Let's build a people boat together
And we can sail across the land
Sounds like a plan"

And so they set a sail
Without a care in the world
Except for the fact
That they're approaching a raft
That the grim reaper himself
Is on

I had a group of friend
And each of them loved to pretend
That they had their own respective sets
Of imaginary friends
Oh, what a trend
Well, this trend, it often led
To disagreements in their heads
Caught between social salvation
And what is considered best
By all the rest
There were quarrels by lagoons
Conflicted lovers in bedrooms
Overlooking thoughts of happiness
That never would come true
Under the moon
But, myself, I never was
Part of this old scene because
I had found myself so early
That none of them could catch up
Is that bad luck?

So I'm sending them off on a trip
To find themselves or something else
And whatever they find
I hope it's something that's kind
Something the grim reaper himself
Has spawned

Sometimes, golly gee
Is the best policy
Sometimes, you shouldn't wear the shoe
Even if it fits
Sometimes, the early bird
Discovers poison in the worm
Sometimes, the grass is only greener
Because it isn't overcast

But now I am so sick of this
That I might spew encouragement across the face
Of those of you who are counting by two
The times that the grim reaper himself
Is gone
Track Name: I'm Goin' Back
I'm goin' back to the dojo
Where I learned to clear my head
Where I learned that every mansion
Is just a fancy wooden shed
I'm goin' back to the water's edge
Where I found the edge of me
Is just another side with four corners
But, somehow, eight vertices

I'm goin' back to the sailboat
That taught me sometimes a crew
Is just one person that believes that they're great
And capable to boot
I'm goin' back to my high school
That never taught me anything
That had an impact on whether or not
I bought my gal a ring

I'm goin' back to the living room
That holds a fireplace
That I never thought jolly Santa could fit through
In my younger days
I'm goin' back to the trenches
Where the soldiers fought the wars
That made censorship available
At your local grocery store

I'm goin' back to the drawing board
Yeah, but not this time to draw
Instead to stare and wonder what about
My last blueprint was flawed
I'm goin' back to the junkyard
Where my crumpled paper stacks
To find that my ideas are better
If arriving while relaxed

I'm goin' back to the tree house
I never visited as a boy
To regain, in only seconds
What my childhood never enjoyed
I'm goin' back to the shoes I wear
That have no place for strings
To place the blame on them
For making me so lazy about things

I'm goin' back to the record store
Where, someday, I will be
Not in a physical sense but plastered
On the cover of CDs
I'm goin' back to the venue stage
That taught me when you sing
It's well worth the loss of hearing
If the crowd is what's deafening

I'm goin' back to the guitar store
Where my father bought a case
That gave me six strings and my all-time favorite
Way to communicate
I'm goin' back to the shopping mall
That holds all of the clothes
That look good on mannequins
But never make me strike a pose

I'm goin' back to the way things were
Before I played guitar
A shaky voice without no music
Was a cause to be alarmed
But I know now, in this moment
Some things come into their own
By hanging with the pack, but after that
They'll be fine when alone
And I'm goin' back there

And I'm goin' back there
I'm goin' back there
Track Name: Worldwide Family
I've gotta pick up my guitar
Get up from my chair
Gotta look to the crowd
Pretend that you're there
Gotta mess up my hair
And play some rock n roll
I've gotta run through the trees
Before it gets dark
Gotta take all my dreams
And pull them apart
Gotta get to the start
Of everything that I've become

But don't you know, brethren?
It's just a means to lift your chin
Not everything's fucked, but it's close
So save what you need
Start a worldwide family
The doctrine is easy to read
You gotta take care of your own
And get back to what you believe

I'm gonna brush all my teeth
Except for just one
Gonna let it get rotten
And destroy my gums
Show you all that a bunch
Can be spoiled by a single bad seed
I'm gonna walk somewhere backwards
So come right along
We'll see everything leave us
And sing forward songs
Blur right and wrong
Til everything's just what you do
And nothing more than that
Nothing more
Track Name: My Shack
Well, in the morning
I'll probably shave my face
To rid my countenance
Of it's overconfident mistakes
And I'm sure that
You'd like to see my teeth
Without the rotten stain
Of their carbon copy blame relief

I set up a shack
With intent to hand out maps
To show everyone
Where the good times went
And it's not a far walk
From where you're standing, dear
In fact, it's right underneath your feet

I've been thinking
About going to a store
That carries glasses with
Abilities to apprehend remorse
And while I'm there
I'll return my net
That I bought to capture dreams
And tell them that
At the seams, it stretched

I just made a sign
For the shack that I designed
And it reads "Come one, Come All
Find Your Place"
And it's not a far walk
From where you're standing, dear
In fact, it's right underneath your feet

I want to meet the man
That first said
That everything happens for
A reason, and I'll ask him for a bed
So that I can sleep
Among the things
That brought him pleasant thoughts
That constantly infested all his dreams

There's a line of folks
Standing at my shack of hopes
And they're here for my old maps
To find new things
And it's not a far walk
From where you're standing, dear
In fact, my dear
If you're already standing here
Then I'll drop myself under your shoe
With landing gear
And it'll be, in fact, underneath your feet
Track Name: The Host with the Most
Friday night
You were on your way
On your way to me
On your way to stay
And there you were
Yeah, you were there
I was drunk
You could smell it in the air
But that didn't stop you
And I didn't think it would
You were so great
Tell me, was I half as good?
Oh, you looked so nice
But your speech was rude
The sex was rough
But the Heineken was smooth

Saturday morn
You were on your way
On your way away from me
Yeah, that was a way's away
And there I was
And there you weren't
I'd been fucked
At least, I could have sworn
Well, you took all my pride
And left me all the shame
So I took sex from your friends
And gave you all the blame
And oh, it felt so nice
Oh, it felt so new
The sex was rough
And the cry after was, too

Me and this shitty barkeep
Through a pity party for myself
And I sent invitations all across the globe
And all of my friends stayed home
Yeah, they stayed home
Yeah, they stayed home
Yeah, they stayed, they stayed home

Now it's Thursday morn
As far as I know
My calendar has become
Empty bottles on the stove
And now I've got this pain
It's gonna take your place
The way the razor feels is rough
And so is my face

Me and this shitty barkeep
Through a pity party for myself
And I sent invitations all across the globe
And all of my friends stayed home
Yeah, they stayed home
Yeah, they stayed home
Well, if I'm supposed to be
Some kind of motherfucking host
Well baby, here's a toast
When you had me, you had the most
This rooftop is looking more like home
All of the time
And the pavement is looking even more
Like a welcome sign
Track Name: Make That Call
"Figure it out yourself"
She said as she walked
Down three flights of stairs
I wonder if she'll come back
But, if not, that's okay
Cause I've got myself anyway

So to the one I'll never see again
It was fun while it lasted
Or did it only last because it was fun?
Or was it even fun at all?
Well maybe I need you to make that call

"Well, figure it out yourself"
She said as she walked
Down three flights of stairs
Oh, I wonder if she'll come back
But, if not, that's okay
Cause I've got my friends anyway

So to the one I'll never see again
It was fun while it lasted
Or did it only last because it was fun?
Or was it even fun at all?
Well maybe I need you to make that call
For me

So to the one I'll never see again
It was fun while it lasted
Or did it only last because it was fun?
Or was it even fun at all?
Well maybe I need you to make that call
So to the one I'll never hold again
It was better off when we were just friends
Did it only last because it was fun?
Or did you have fun with me at all?
Well maybe I need you to make that call
Track Name: Spider Bite
Well there's a cold, dark place
By the cemetery gates
I like to dwell there by myself
For what it lacks in comfort
It makes up in sound
For having lack of that as well
And there's a bite on my neck
That a spider has left
I hope he's proud of what he's done
I didn't mind their webs
Before his deed
It only takes one to ruin it for them all

And there's a girl I love
In a town down the road
Send word that I still feel the same
And if she tells you that
She doesn't anymore
Then don't bother to come back here again
Cause for the past few years
I've stored my failed attempts
In the mailbox outside her room
I swore to her that I
Wouldn't dare leave her
I guess I shouldn't make vows
That I can't keep

My father always said
"Beware of mistakes"
So thank you, dad
For making me scared of myself
But when I met God
He taught me otherwise
I love you, God
Help me tell dad the same
So welcome to my home
I hope you don't mind the cold
I had a fireplace once, but what's the use?
There's never wood, I never could
Haul it all by myself
So could you help me before you go?
Track Name: A Woman to Love
I gotta find me a woman to love
I gotta find me a woman to love
I gotta find me a woman to love
A woman to love
A woman to love
Track Name: Nice Genes
My father and I went to a barber yesterday
Both of us in need of subtle change
The waiting area was dense
He sat across the room from I
And, amongst a group of strangers, blended in

The car ride there was full
Of empty mouths and awkward breath
Pure commensalism at its best
The radio was there, mediating when it could
But I swear I could hear my father's words
Inside his chest

So go ahead and say it, father
Say I was just too much to handle
Say it like you mean it
In that mean way you say it
Say it for the love of God
For the love of me
But he said nothing
No, he said nothing

Both our names were called
We were seated parallel
Room enough for debate and for ourselves
I thought for a moment
I could leave this all behind
But then the barber grabbed the scissors
From the shelf
And as my follicles hit the ground
They shouted out
"Hey, I think I'm related to that one there
He looks so familiar
At first glance we're so alike
But when I turn again
All the sudden, he's so different"
And as my father's hairs and mine
Were swept aside
Under the same counter top
A war began to wage
The gray hairs of my father's scalp
Were shouting insults from their mouths
Screaming unto the residents of mine
How dare you tread upon my property?
How dare you tread upon my property?
How dare you tread upon my property?
How dare you tread upon my property?
My property, my property
Those sure are some nice genes you have
Track Name: Sew to Speak
You were a dream
In the passenger seat of my car
Toothpick in mouth
Just for laughs, I pretend is a cigar
See, I would have thought the worst
Of whatever your words had planned
You said I was interesting
Some people fear what they don't understand

If I had asked what time it was
Would you have attempted to flirt?
Because if you had asked what time it was
I would have said it's a good time for us now
Just look at the hands of that clock
They're so cooperative
Holding each other as if they won't ever stop again
So why don't we let our two hands work
To make good time for us now?
For us now

Now we arrive at a heathen-fit dive of a bar
Toothpick in mouth is just that
Next to the real cigars
The menial things, the congenial things
Aren't as grand
The interesting truth is I'm afraid of you
And I don't understand

But you said that you had to wait outside
You said that you had to wait outside
And you just kept saying that
You had to wait outside
You said that you had to wait outside

So I'd like to know what the hell
You were waiting for outside
Was it the kiss of a prince
That had long abdicated his throne, so to speak?
Were my words so meaningless
That they resembled replicas
Of my own two feet, stabbing my esophagus
So now here I am
With these stitches in my throat
That I sew to speak
To you, to you
I sew to speak to you, to you
With hopes that you'd speak to me
Speak to me, speak to me
Speak to me, speak to me